#im fine being alone in this
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Soulmate au but Shiro and Ulaz are soulmates but Shiro is with Adam.
Adam doesn't have a soulmate, he has no red string of fate but Shiro does. However Shiro doesn't care and ends up getting with Adam and they end up engaged. This au still follows the canon so Shiro ends on the mission and yada yada.
Shiro and Ulaz meet again when Ulaz breaks onto the castle. This is where Shiro realizes that they're soulmates. So instead of Ulaz dying, he lives and stays with the Paladins. Shiro ends up in a dilemma because Ulaz is both sweet and attractive but he still loves Adam.
Cue ✨️poly✨️ stuff
Now, it's not something that happened quickly because one, Adam is incredibly confused and two, because Ulaz is also incredibly confused. Shiro is just praying it works out. It does but that doesn't stop a week or two worth of confusion. Adam is just confused as to how an alien is Shiros soulmate, especially an alien that might be a few thousand years old. Ulaz is just confused by how Shiro is Keith's brother but Adam is Keith's parent even though Adam is younger than Shiro by a year or two.
#voltron#voltron legendary defender#voltron adam w#adam w#voltron adam#voltron shiro#takashi shirogane#shiro#vld ulaz#ulaz#shulaz#uliro#adashi#shadam#perhaps even#adam x ulaz#adalaz#thats not my best work ngl#adashulaz#ulaz and adam havent a clue as to what is happening#shiro is just praying he can manage to be with both#hes very happy when the two also end up together#shiro wasnt planning it but a win is a win#this is lowkey one of my fav ships#im probably the only shipper#but its fine#im fine being alone in this#no im not#someone else please see the vision
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i need to get this out of my head before i continue clone^2 but danny being the first batkid. Like, standard procedure stuff: his parents and sister die, danny ends up with Vlad Masters. He drags him along to stereotypical galas and stuff; Danny is not having a good time.
He ends up going to one of the Wayne Galas being hosted ever since elusive Bruce Wayne has returned to Gotham. Vlad is crowing about having this opportunity as he's been wanting to sink his claws into the company for a long while now. Danny is too busy grieving to care what he wants.
And like most Galas, once Vlad is done showing him off to the other socialites and the like, he disappears. Off to a dark corner, or to one of the many balconies; doesn't matter. There he runs into said star of the show, Bruce who is still young, has been Batman for at least a year at this point, but still getting used to all these damn people and socializing. He's stepped off to hide for a few minutes before stepping back into the shark tank.
And he runs into a kid with circles under his eyes and a dull gleam in them. Familiar, like looking into a mirror.
Danny tries to excuse himself, he hasn't stopped crying since his parents died and it's been months. He rubs his eyes and stands up, and stumbles over a half-hearted apology to Mister Wayne. Some of Vlad's etiquette lessons kicking in.
Bruce is awkward, but he softens. "That's alright, lad," he says, pulling up some of that Brucie Wayne confidence, "I was just coming out here to get some fresh air."
There's a little pressing; Bruce asks who he's here with, Danny says, voice quiet and grief-stricken, that he's with his godfather Vlad Masters. Bruce asks him if he knows where he is, and Danny tells him he does. Bruce offers to leave, Danny tells him to do whatever he wants.
It ends with Bruce staying, standing off to the side with Danny in silence. Neither of them say a word, and Danny eventually leaves first in that same silence.
Bruce looks into Vlad Masters after everything is over, his interest piqued. He finds news about him taking in Danny Fenton: he looks into Danny Fenton. He finds news articles about his parents' deaths, their occupations, everything he can get his hands on.
At the next gala, he sees Danny again. And he looks the same as ever: quiet like a ghost, just as pale, and full of grief. Bruce sits in silence with him again for nearly ten minutes before he strikes a conversation.
"Do you like to do anything?"
Nothing. Just silence.
Bruce isn't quite sure what to do: comfort is not his forte, and Danny doesn't know him. He's smart enough to know that. So he starts talking about other things; anything he can think of that Brucie Wayne might say, that also wasn't inappropriate for a kid to hear.
Danny says nothing the entire time, and is again the first to leave.
Bruce watches from a distance as he intercts with Vlad Masters; how Vlad Masters interacts with him. He doesn't like what he sees: Vlad Masters keeps a hand on Danny's shoulder like one would hold onto the collar of a dog. He parades him around like a trophy he won.
And there are moments, when someone gets too close or when someone tries to shake Danny's hand, of deep possessiveness that flints over Vlad Masters' eyes. Like a dragon guarding a horde.
He plays the act of doting godfather well: but Bruce knows a liar when he sees one. Like recognizes like.
Danny is dull-eyed and blank faced the entire time; he looks miserable.
So Bruce tries to host more parties; if only so that he can talk to Danny alone. Vlad seems all too happy to attend, toting Danny along like a ribbon, and on the dot every hour, Danny slips away to somewhere to hide. Bruce appears twenty minutes later.
"I was looking into your godfather's company," he says one night, trying to think of more things to say. Some nights all they do is sit in silence. "Some of my shareholders were thinking of partnering up--"
"Don't."
He stops. Danny hardly says a word to him, he doesn't even look at him -- he's sitting on the ground, his head in his knees. Like he's trying to hide from the world. But he's looking, blue eyes piercing up at Bruce.
Bruce tilts his head, practiced puppy-like. "Pardon?"
"Don't." Danny says, strongly. "Don't make any deals with Vlad."
It's the most words Danny's spoken to him, and there's a look in his eyes like a candle finding its spark. Something hard. Bruce presses further, "And why is that?"
The spark flutters, and flushes out. Danny blinks like he's coming out of a trance, and slumps back into himself. "Just don't."
Bruce stares at him, thoughtful, before looking away. "Alright. I won't."
And they fall back into silence.
Danny, when he leaves, turns to look at Bruce, "I mean it." He says; soft like he's telling a secret, "Don't make any deals with him. Don't be alone with him. Don't work with him."
He's scampered away before Bruce can question him further.
(He never planned on working with Vlad Masters and his company; he's done his research. He's seen the misfortune. But nothing ever leads back to him. There's no evidence of anything. But Danny knows something.)
At their next meeting, Danny starts the conversation. It's new, and it's welcomed. He says, cutting through their five minute quiet, that he likes stars. And he doesn't like that he can't see them in Gotham.
Bruce hums in interest, and Danny continues talking. It's as if floodgates had been opened, and as Bruce takes a sip of his wine, it tastes like victory.
("Tucker told me once--") ("Tucker?") ("Oh-- uh, one of my best friends. He's a tech geek. We haven't talked in a while.")
(Danny shut down in his grief -- his friends are worried, but can't reach him. When he goes back to the manor with Vlad, he fishes out his phone and sends them a message.)
(They are ecstatic to hear from him.)
It all culminates until one day, when Danny is leaving to go back inside, that Bruce speaks up. "You know," He says, leaning against the railing. "The manor has many rooms; plenty of space for a guest."
The implication there, hidden between the lines. And Danny is smart, he looks at Bruce with a sharp glean in his eyes, and he nods. "Good to know."
The next time they see each other, Danny has something in his hands. "Can you hold onto something for me?" He asks.
When Bruce agrees, Danny places a pearl into his palm. or, at least, it's something that looks like a pearl. Because it's cold to the touch; sinking into Bruce's white silk gloves with ease and shimmering like an opal. It moves a little as it settles into his hand, and the moves like its full of liquid.
Bruce has never seen anything like it before, but he does know this; it's not human. "What is it?" He asks, and Danny looks uncomfortable.
"I can't tell you that." He says, shifting on his foot like he's scared of someone seeing it. "But please be careful with it. Treat it like it's extremely fragile."
When Bruce gets home, he puts it in an empty ring box and hides the box in the cave. He tries researching into what it is. he can't find anything concrete.
Everything comes to a head one day when Danny appears at the manor's doorstep one evening, soaking wet in the rain, and bleeding from the side.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc prompt#man i just really need more dpdc stuff where danny and bruce have a good relationship. like man i NEED it. like i need to see these two#bonding together. and not in a cracky 'oh danny is a distant friend/cousin/etc' stuff but like. active participants in each other's lives#or as active as can be in this case. i neeeeed these two getting along and caring about one another#this idea came to me like last night and hasn't left since nd it was driving me up the wall to think about both positively and negatively b#i neeeded someone to hear about this or i was gonna implode#danny is the first son#tried to just get the general gist of the idea down but i definitely thought of the idea that bruce lowkey suspects vlad for having a hand#Vlad allows Danny to sneak off because he thinks Danny is alone. if he knew Bruce was there he'd be piiisssed and would put a stop to it#Sam and Tucker are alive they just got ghosted for a bit by danny bc he was in Major Grief and didn't wanna socialize. He couldn't go to#them because he didn't wanna put them in danger via Vlad.#oh that thing he handed Bruce? Yeah that's his ghost core. I have a headcanon (that isnt always applied) that ghosts can take their cores#out of their bodies at will and painlessly and without issue. and its common practice actually to do so bc they can be a not insignificant#distance away from said core before problems start to act up. and its common for ghosts to leave their physical cores at their lairs for#safekeeping because as long as the physical core is fine: so is the ghost. they can reform if their body gets destroyed. it also acts as a#fast travel sometimes. where they can reform at their core in an instant. its not inspired in the slightest by SU but i do see the overlap#most cores are pretty small for safety sake: its harder to hit if its small. and they're pr resilient too but its better to be safe than#sorry. so yeah. danny essentially gave bruce the physical embodiment of his soul and indirectly said#'if anything happens to me at least i'll be safe with you'#danny doesn't know he's batman btw#starry rambles.#was gonna go into danny becoming a vigilante beside bruce but im sleeeepy so i'll do that in a reblog. he's gonna go by nightingale if#anyone is interested. stereotypical but to be frank it is a *good* name imo. has a good amount of syllables and consonants to it#and the bird theme. and since its part of an ancestral name it has even more backing for it being bird-y without being meta
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Idk who needs to hear this but time and time again isn't over!!!
Webtoon removed the "time and time again will return!!!" Banner and I don't know why, but it's not over!!! There's still another 1/3 of the comic to go! There's a lot more stuff that I'm working on and it'll be coming back soon!
Please be patient with me, I know it's been a long time... But the stuff I'm making is really good and there's a lot of reasons it's taken this long. I promise I want it back more than anyone.
I'm trying to come back around the end of October. I'm doing my best to get everything ready in time, so no promises, but I'm on track to do so! I'm just one person writing and drawing everything, and my editor was fired so I'm not even getting any notes anymore. It's literally just me. I'm doing my best I promise!
#im so frustrated that banner has been gone#and people think the comic is over because of that#which is reasonable to think#but it... idk#its already an uphill battle to try snd retain audience after a hiatus this long#let alone when webtoon is actively building thr expectation that theres no need to come back...#im so frustrated#every day there is something new with them its so exhausting#this isnt even the thing I've been majorly stressed about this is a fresh new frustration#i feel like they're not just being unhelpful#at this point i feel like theyre actively sabotaging my career.#im not allowed to promote my books#i can't make my links too big so no one can find me#people dont even know i have a patreon#i can't make any announcements on the comic#and now people think th whole thing is over and it isnt!#im so ;_;#im so frustrated and demoralized#and people complete reasonably are losing patience and interest#and. ah... it's fine. like genuinely it is fine.#it will come back soon and i am doing a good job#and everyone who sees it's back will be happy with what ive done#cause it's good. its really good...#but. yeah. idk. webtoon has been actively keeping me down since the beginning and im so over them#I've been so mistreated aysudjejjdjdjdj#i just want to finish the series and go ;_;#taking all my power to not **** ******#just gotta power through and get the fuck out#text post#update
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late night chat
#meeple.png#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity invitational#ii oj#ii mephone4#ii mephoj#not inherently shippy but it is based on the weird gay little version of iii in my head#anyway i think they should've had some kind of summer romance in iii that changes their view on their lives forever#and leaves them haunted by eachother in a way that neither will want to address but it sticks with them#oj is Stuck in his shitty hotel job and kind of caged himself into that the more he insists its Just the way it is and hes fine with it#while mephone has simply gotten used to running away and hiding as much as he can#neither are good coping mechanisms but the kind of experience and perspective they have could be exactly what they need to hear#oj needs to Fucking Quit while mephone needs to let himself find community and let others know him#so he doesn't feel like he Has to run or he Has to do it alone#oj has connections albeit some messier than others#and hes a bit of a bitch but definitely more liked than mephone#and mephone has the If It Sucks Hit The Bricks mentality and the bluntness to get that through to oj#oj also has the perspective of being a s1 vet which means he has a very different view on mephone than others might#and that could do some good in getting through to mephone how his host behavior can negatively affect the contestants involved#mephone views oj as more equal to him as theyre business partners. hes very friendly to him (even if one sided.) he might just listen#sorry if this rant is redundant btw im not reading back any of this HAHA
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just because i need to yell about it for a second bc i have seen people celebrate it, the nintendo music app thing as part of switch online to me looks much more like a dark precursor to a possible reality in which not only movies and series are completely locked behind a hundred different streaming services but music is as well ...
#ganondoodles talks#nintendo#like especially if that is the reason why they have been taking down so much music on youtube#can you imagine no music being on youtube at all anymore bc you need to sub to an obscure streaming service just to lsiten to that one trac#like if it was just a bonus i guess its fine#but this is capitalisms hell of streaming services where you rent shit without ever owning it#so im ....... >_>#ALSO I HATE APPS#WHY IS EVERYTHIGN AN APP#LEAVE ME ALONE
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Since we’re on the topic of video games, im tired of these fucking remakes. Ive said it before but i’ll say it again each time. These companies dont wanna invest in an actually good remaster or port and would rather waste their time with these remakes bcuz “ooh look how shiny and better the graphics look!!1!1!1” often times it has an empty feeling because everything has to be ultra realism super 6000. Its gotten so bad that now regular gamers are starting to gaslight you into playing or enjoying them. So much has been lost artistically, (like the cool UI designs) that it’s now considered “juvenile” and that i need to “grow up” and “accept it” 😂
#Being genuine and having atmosphere/lore/small details surrounding the game does a lot more.#And can we pls have built in emulators or#backwards combatibility on these newer consoles? if ur able to do all this other shit you can give us an official emulator#And ik that sometimes the developers have actually lost certain files data assets etc within the OG games that cannot be regained#But you can make an entire remake no problem🙄 it be feeling like they are getting told by higher ups “do it or else”#Im gen z and idk if its my gen or a combination of everyone regardless of age wanting these remakes all of a sudden#Bcuz i swear i remember most ppl disliked or didnt care abt them now everyone is on board with it???#No game after the year 1999 should have a remake. A rerelease or remaster is fine. But a remake? Do we really need that…#Also game design used to be cute and fun. Whatever happened to that? Wheres my clever save spots and menu screens?#Theres only a tad bit of remakes i have no problem with and even then its not “needed”#i also understand not liking smth due to its art style. But to act like majority of old games looks terrible is crazy come on now.#Why does h0rizon need a remaster and why are u not allowed to buy or download the OG version of it anymore 😐#feels like ppl think OG games are nothing when they are the entire reason#The amplified hyperrealistic my-26k-ultra-supercomputer-made-this remake exists in the first fucking place#regarding limitations of old games and consoles i could understand a rerelease port but they could just add on stuff and leave it alone lol#Emulators also exists guys….#Rant#Other
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one thing i love about sz/sz is the clear distinction of themes and the way both of them view each other and just mixing it all. I can enjoy my fair share of possessive zoro when it comes to zs but it's more about thinking about how his devotion towards the rest of the crew (pre relationship) fuels his feelings towards sanji and the need to make sure he knows how important he is for him, how he would follow him anywhere sanji wants. Zoro would do anything as long as it made sanji happy imo (it can totally turn a little bit weird, we are talking about ZOSAN of all people. Zoro would definitely say some insane shit like cutting his chest open and giving sanji his own heart in case he is hungry or something like that)
And don't get me started with sanji's need to make sure zoro feels loved all the time, not just with food, but through quality time (no matter how little it is, his free time would definitely be reserved for zoro) he would think his actions are his way of saying "i understand how lonely you must have felt" after kuina and his years as a pirate hunter which later on turns into a "i want to give you a piece of what zeff and the rest of the baratie staff gave me". Sanji would be SO sweet with zoro once in a established relationship, and zoro would feel a kind of love he never knew existed, and that realization alone is enough for him to bow to never let anything bad happen to sanji, not because he thinks sanji is weak but simply because its what he deserves. Seeing sanji happy makes zoro happier
#one piece#op zosan#op#zosan#sanzo#idk where this came from#but like... so many stuff w possessive zoro and weak? sanji. im fine with it as i said but i hate when people think thats all there is wthe#also a friend sent me a message a while back saying 'i just want to see zoro being LOVED and i know sanji can do that' and my goddd#that message alone was enough to fuel this view of them#im a definitely sz/zs enjoyer. More is always better#but its difficult to find good zs sometimes. Kudos to anyone writing/depicting zs with a very devoted and goofy zoro#text
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you ever think about how bill is who the pines could have been if they didn't have any kind of support from anyone in their lives
#godsrambles#im thinking about the thing on the website where he goes on an angry jealous rant about stan#bill turns away from the chance to be better over and over and over and over again#but what couldve happened if he had some kind of support at 30? at 60? instead of at over 1 trillion?#he turns himself into a monster. he sets everything up to try and lead someone down the path of becoming a monster with him.#not consciously. but subconsciously he is so ready to commiserate with someone else about being monsters together. and be less alone in it#and then bill finds out that this person actually has a family member willing to risk the apocalypse just to bring him back.#and other family members willing to do whatever it takes to rescue him During the Apocalypse Itself#and friends who forgive him. and then even the brother he thought he hated for so long gets a happy ending#and here bill is. in a pit dug by his own endless atrocities. but the very first few shovelfuls of dirt that started digging the pit#were caused by him having no one. no support network. no family member willing to cause the apocalypse just to bring him back#and then he gets fucking institutionalized.#one of the kinds of places where people unwanted by anyone in society get sent to so no one has to think about them again.#^greatly reductive descriptor that isnt always true im just talking about the way society views this topic + depicts it in media#like ok. ok i guess. sure. whatever. fine. im exploding everything in the universe with my mind 👍
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the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)
but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.
the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore
#talkys#my dad scaring me but also giving me no advice on what to do instead only saying if i do this it will be the wrong choice leading#to more wrong choices well yep you got me i am scared. i am inept. i fear regret and punishment for wrong decisions.#i struggle to make decisions because i cant go back on them.#''ill never have savings again'' and ''you cant value friends over family they'll abandon you''#and ''living here is only a problem for you because you dont communicate. there is a way to work things out''#i wish i could work it out and stay i dont know why i cant work it out ! and what do i want#to leave so badly for... to continue to never have stable housing#never have savings again? be alone and in danger?#to be able to wear whatever i want and...buy things? really? that doesnt seem very worth it#nothing seems very worth it#im miserable here but maybe i'd be more miserable away...it is true#well at least the chances to leave are very slim. and will continue to get slimmer the more time passes.#but maybe its fine i dont want to ruin my life or be even more of a burden or reason for distress in someone else's#moving out wouldnt fix anything. wherever you go there you are.#my friend said i have to be a little selfish (positive) to push myself to leave. bt i dont want to be selfish. im ashamed of that as a trai#delete later#even now i feel immense guilt and stress when my dad does things that hurt or bother me bc i know ill miss him when he's gone.#(and ill have nobody after all of that. due to the being kept in a cage)#that sucks. why does everyone else always win. why am i always the weakest pliable one. i wish i had no emotions#my surgery is the only decision in my life ive been 100% sure on for years#and even then my parent's words had me crying and rapidly changing emotions daily until the day came#im not strong enough or sure enough about anything else to withstand More of that#<- and i know that tomorrow im gonna be like actually you know what who cares lets try to leave#and the next day ill be resigned to staying here forever#and the next day ill be like actually you know what who cares l
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sigh....... smallidarity crumbs.....
(I MISS THEM SO MUCH)
#was watching Jimmy's stream today and there was the off mention where Jimmy says#“wish he had all the time for me 😢 all the time for me 😭”#GET JOEL OFF THAT SERVER FOR 2 SECONDS PLEASE 😭😭😭😭 /JOKING hermitcraft is his hermitcrab shell. dont want to disturb the ecosystem yk#in my head im pacing around in circles like that one twilight sparkle scene where the ground starts eroding from her steps#MY WITHDRAWAL SYNDROMES....#/lh btw im fine i'll just work on my many wips.... making the content up myself.... yeah....#i understood that burden when i made this account... to graduate smallidarity from rarepair to semi-rarepair... with my bare hands alone..#previously being a desert duo main from twitter really spoilt me tbh 😭😭 smallidarity's barely even that rare of a rarepair#well. they are still criminally underrated compared to other ships (and duos in general actually). so i guess a rarepair in the community#but thriving in the actual content we get#tbh just like stresskall and xbralis#let best friends to lovers be more mainstream please . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
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harley quinn (2000) #35
[ID: a sequence of three panels focusing on an abandoned cup of tea as drops of blood drip down into it. Harley Quinn's internal narration boxes reads, ‘I was a tomboy growing up. Tackle football with the local boys? You bet. Under a car hood changing a filter? Sure. Dances? No. Pedicures? Pass. Sewing? You have to be kidding.’ The panels expand, revealing Harley hunched over. She's shown in a profile view and from afar, her face hidden by shadow as her blonde hair is in a slightly overgrown pixie cut.
The blood continues to drip as her narration resumes, ‘I remember watching my mother. Sewing. Sitting in this old chair with a pile of clothes my dad or brother needed fixing. A rip, a tear, a patch. Just kept a smile on her face as that pile got higher and higher. I resented her so much. Sewing. I vowed I'd never learn.’ Her hand comes onto panel, revealing she's holding a needle as she yelps, ‘Ow!’ We finally see her bloodied face when she looks up at the suddenly ringing phone, it being revealed that she had to give herself sutures to close a large gash on her forehead. END ID]
#i think thats a cup of tea?? it looks like it with the sugar cubes? maybe. its not the point#love love love this little sequence and when her character and background is expanded on#i disagree with some of the choices (like her sleeping with & blackmailing the dean to get into a college)#but im a sucker for messy homelife and having that filled out more. her own personal resentment to her mother for doing the needlework#and being a housewife with a (forced?) smile and how it plays out to harley wanting to be so fiercely independent but how she#still struggles with it. from staying with the joker and that toxic relationship and the way its different than her mother's yet is#repeating the same cycle just with different mistakes#to her and pam and wanting and begging her to go with her. to being scared of being alone in a sense#she can manage fine. shes smart shes strong shes clever. but the abandonment issues run deep#how much is she aware of? how much does she resent herself for it? telling yourself as a little girl over and over you wont be like#your mother just to find out youre her if not worse?#again. repeating the cycle just with different mistakes.#also love when women are cringefailures and damp and pathetic looking#c: harley quinn (2000) | i: 35#crypt's panels#harley quinn
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it's not sinking in that today might be the last day in my house and town for many months to come
#like how do i even feel#on one hand im excited because like now that i finally agreed to dads stupid whims he technically will have to give in to things#ive been wanting since FOREVER like going to the gym#plus it's impossible to eat junk food when he's there he won't even let me kacchi maggi because maida hai bimar ho jayegi#and aadhe se zyada din toh pyaaz ye sab nahi kha sakte so it rules out any outside food#which is so good because like i just found out im pre diabetic lol#like borderline sugar like ab kuch nahi kiya toh seedha type 2 diabetes#so i need to eat healthy or ill literally die#i mean eventually but whatever being diagnosed with this in my 20s would kill me#also simply the fear of living with him is so much that i HAVE to study#and i want to now it's high time#but yeah want doesn't really work for me#i read a quote somewhere that 'goals' don't mean anything because winners and losers have the same goals#and i was like WOAH. like the person who gets an all india rank had the same goal as me: to pass the exam with good marks#but they succeeded and i didn't so it's isn't our goals that differentiate us#which ik is obvious but like still idk put things in perspective#anyway yeah that way my life MIGHT be fixed#but there's also living ALONE with my sociopathic FATHER who has more mood swings than me on pms#and being cut off frm the rest of civilisation and yk developed roads and buildings and ice cream shops#i guess it is mostly food ig :( which is good like the most junk food i can eat there is a burger from a nearby stall and that's pretty#much it they literally do not even have havmor or anything in walking distance forget scoop wali ice cream#but i like my bed and i like my ceiling with the stars and i like looking out of my window and knowing that the first ever crush of my life#lives right next to me and i like knowing that ill meet my bestfriend atleast once a month#i don't really love my mom or my brother tbh but idk maybe ill miss them it's weird ive never lived without them#i don't know i really hope that this is like a boot camp kota types experience rather than so much isolation that i sink deep into#depression. but then ive hit pretty shocking lows this year so hopefully i can handle it#my sister did say that when she lived alone with him for a month it was quite peaceful and okay because he usually gets more angry when mom#is around warna mostly he's fine#i don't know i don't know bhagwan ji please ab aur mushkil mat banana life bohot jhatke de chuke ho already ab pls#mujhe apni galtiyo ko sudharne ka mauka dena 🙏
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Highschool sucks because I could get hit in the face with a soccer ball at full speed and only 2 girls will care enough to ask if I'm okay
#totally isnt what happened today or anything#ummm anyways my face still hurts a little bit but im mainly feeling fine now#SHOUT OUT TO THOSE 2 GIRLS THOUGH. THEY WERE ALSO THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO ASKED IF I WAS OKAY AFTER AN ASTHMA ATTACK THE OTHER DAY#theyre really sweet#id try to be friends with them but they dont seem like the type of people who would want to be friends with the girl who doesnt talk#so far being friendless at school has only caused a few tears to be shed. living it up guys#plus like i have really bad social anxiety you all know this i cant go up to people or ill cry#but yknow whatever im fine with being alone. it gives me more time to draw i guess#doesnt matter#FUCK THOSE BOYS WHO KICKED THE SOCCER BALL IN MY FACE#MY GLASSES CUT MY NOSE AND I HAVE A BLACK BRUISE NOW#it hurts to have my glasses on my face but i need them super bad i cant see 2 inches away from my face#ughhhhh im so tired of my school. i cant do this#text post#shut up hazel
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just a couple of dirty bean boys!
#jacksepticeye#just like art#this was SO CLOSE to never being finished#art machine (me) broke halfway through but we did it#uni is............. going#even though im only doing 2 subjects im losing it man#i think its just ALL OF THE GROUP PROJECTS IM DOING#like my groups are fine theyre all sweet and nice but i just.#just let me do it by myself let me take 100% control without guilt let me only depend on myself doing it#im such a damn follower with group projects please itd be quicker if it was just me making my own shots instead of a second party coming in#and asking for my opinion when my opinion is always ''do whatever you want :)'' because i either dont mind OR i dont have the social energy#to say otherwise like theyd be fine with it but i just cant do it man i got anxiety of the social kind i cant keep going man i cant#i dont like feeling like im letting down other people or that theyre depending on me im bad under pressure#JUST LET ME DO IT ALONE AND ONLY DISAPPOINT MYSELF BRO CMON#the group projects are wrapping up soon so i cant complain but im screaming#besides that ive been good thanks for asking!
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sometimes i wish i was one of those artist that make people go "this is a PAINTING???" or "with WHAT programm/medium???" but its just not what i can do or find fun :/
#ganondoodles talks#personal#not really for the attention thing but more for .. work being recognized?#im not sure#to feel more like people actually stop and look at sth instead of skipping over it?#maybe its jsut an internet phenomena(?)#like the way everything is just consumed within seconds and never lasts long and if you miss the trend you are irrelevant#the sort of weird pressure to have to subvert expectations or be exceptionally exceptional just to be recognized ?#(which i know isnt always a good thing lol)#also this isnt a complaint per se more like a thought#like i sometimes wish i was into the popular characters instead of the niche ones etc#that kind of thing#also like i wish i could make art that really speaks to people .. like those that are just so .. interesting and strange and poetic#bc (while i know fanart and silly oc projects arent worhtless) those feel more worthwhile? more worth really being called art?#for soemthing to be truly art it should be either exceptionally skilled or profound like the greatest poets?#im just doing whatever my brain allows me to do- which i know is fine#but i also dont think its inherently wrong to wish for being more than that sometimes#(... maybe its mostly just loneliness without knowing how to find friends)#(especially where i am and especially as i just want a friend to live with - not a partner... i dont want to be this alone forever ...)#(actually ....... what if all my art self consciousness comes from wanting to feel less lonely .. oh dear- no time to unpack that omg)
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really love the scenes we got of Alicent actually being a mother to her grieving children and giving them comfort after their loss that's going to colour the rest of their time, reassuring them that she's there for them, actually trying to make up for the part she played in that loss by not leaving them to deal with this alone in their own ways
Oh wait, we didn't get that
so glad we got yet another scene of her and cole though 🙄
#the rage i feel is immeasurable#im a team green bitch but this isnt it#like yeah okay we got the scene of her telling helaena about the procession and we got her trying to calm helaena down when she panics#and perhaps im reading a little too far into it but theres a difference between doing so with everyone watching and doing so in private#sure there's the guilt there for the part she played#and theres not going to be anything she can do to ever get past that for the part she played#but wouldnt the first step be actually being there??#helaena doesnt want to be touched okay thats fine just sit with her show her she's not alone#actually say something when you see your son literally weeping instead of just turning and leaving the room#literally anything#DO SOMETHING#house of the dragon#hotd season 2#hotd#hotd spoilers#alicent hightower
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